By Rebecca Birt
When we are born, we get told what gender we are – male or female. Yet for 24-year old Taylor* they didn’t fit the profile they were assigned at birth. Taylor is genderqueer, which means they can identify with both genders, and sometimes feel that they don’t fit into either gender and are a gender of their own.
When we are born, we get told what gender we are – male or female. Yet for 24-year old Taylor* they didn’t fit the profile they were assigned at birth. Taylor is genderqueer, which means they can identify with both genders, and sometimes feel that they don’t fit into either gender and are a gender of their own.
“When I was going through my awkward teenage years, nothing felt right. I didn’t feel like my mind matched the body I was in and the feeling never left. I wasn’t female, but I wasn’t male either, so what was I?” The turning point for Taylor was when, at eighteen, they finally opened up to a friend about all the worries and insecurities they had been holding onto.
"We spent hours researching it and the more we looked into it the more I realised what I was feeling was okay, that I wasn't the only one."
As LBGTQIA issues are being raised in popular culture more and more, genderqueer people are discovering they are not alone in how they feel, with organisations such as Gendered Intelligence providing resources for the people involved and their families.
When Taylor left for university they learnt more about themselves and became more comfortable in their own skin, however it was time to tell their parents. “It was one of the most difficult days. I spent weeks getting the courage to talk about it and kept backing out but one day I bit the bullet at dinner. All the worrying was for nothing, I was lucky their reaction was a good one.”
Although they slip up on their chosen pronouns and occasionally call them by their birth name, both of them have been understanding and supportive throughout the transition. “I’ve been told I have quite androgynous features so that helps," they said, "but people don’t understand what it means to be outside the gender binary.”
“Getting people to avoid ‘he’ or ‘she’ pronouns is pretty difficult.”
However not everyone has been understanding about Taylor’s change. Outside of their parents the rest of the family are unaware of their choice for many reasons. “They have made their feelings about the LGBT community very clear and I don’t think they will understand if I ever dared to mention it. Maybe one day but not anytime soon.”
Many friends haven’t respected the change and have either stopped talking completely or refuse to call them by their chosen name. I asked Taylor how they felt about losing friends like this, whether or not it upset them, however they said how their friends had shown their true colours.
“At the end of the day if they can’t respect the choices I have made in my life then they don’t deserve to be in it.”
Despite the mixed reaction and the complicated way their life is going to be from now on, Taylor couldn’t be happier.
“I finally feel that I know who and what I am, no-one’s negativity can change that.”
*name changed to protect identity.
For more information about gender identities, please visit the NHS page, or sites such as Gendered Intelligence and GIRES
“I finally feel that I know who and what I am, no-one’s negativity can change that.”
*name changed to protect identity.
For more information about gender identities, please visit the NHS page, or sites such as Gendered Intelligence and GIRES